How to Cope with Sibling Rivalry?

Sibling rivalry, as long as a family exists, will always be there.  Sibling means children that are related and living in the same house such as brothers and sisters.  Rivalry is the competition between the children caused by many different factors.  Sibling rivalry is a great parenting concern.  Parents have to give so much focus on this so that this problem could be minimized within the family.  If this could be avoided, family problems could be lessened.  Peace and harmony in the family could possibly be met.

First, we have to think of the many reasons why sibling rivalry occurs.  Analyze why such things do happen in the family.  And once the problem has been identified, think of the possible solutions, so that everything will run smoothly in the family.

Children do not choose the family where they are born into.  They cannot choose their parents, sisters or brothers.  Whether they like it or not, they have to stick to the family where they are raised.  Your family will always be your family, whatever may happen.  Regardless of age, gender or attitude, we have to deal with our respective family members.  We have to adjust with each other and find ways and mean to properly deal with one another so that a harmonious relationship within the family could be attained. However, if sibling rivalry in the family could not be avoided, then we have to think of the possible ways to minimize it.  Here are some of the reasons why sibling rivalry occurs. One is the position in the family.  Oftentimes, the eldest son or daughter is usually the busiest among brothers and sisters.  This is because, he or she is given the biggest responsibility by their parents.  As a result, the eldest child usually gets jealous with the younger siblings because of the latter’s lesser obligations.  Mostly, the youngest child has the least responsibility and has the most attention given by their parents.  Because of this special attention to the youngest child, the other children would then have another reason to be jealous with their youngest brother or sister.  Parents sometimes cannot avoid being so concerned with the youngest child, not knowing that, this could have a negative effect on the other children.  Another possible reason is sex.  For instance, a son may get jealous with his sister because his father seems to be gentler with her.  A daughter, on the other hand, may envy her brother because she cannot go on hunting with her father and brother because it could be dangerous on her part, and it is a boy’s activity.  Another factor is the age gap.  A five year old child could mingle with his or her brother or sister with age nearly the same as his or hers.  While a teenager daughter or son could not mingle with her or his sister or brother with age below eleven.  Because of these age differences, the children have different wants and likes.  They would have different demands from their parents.  Conflict sometimes arises because of these demands.  Parents tend to prioritize whatever is the most important demand and the least important is given the least priority.  As such, sibling rivalry may then occur.  Some children do not understand their parents.  What the kids think are their own self interest.  Parents will have a hard time coping up with their children’s demands, especially, if the parents are not that wealthy.  Another factor that causes sibling rivalry is favoritism.  We cannot deny the fact that, sometimes, parents have a tendency to show favoritism. An example of this is, when the youngest child is intelligent and talented in comparison to the eldest child who is just an average student.  Parents may tend to be more proud with their youngest child.  And if the eldest child notices this, he or she may get jealous with the youngest brother or sister.

To avoid sibling rivalry among children, parents have to be more conscious with their actions.  They have to try their best to be fair to every child and give them equal love and attention.  Comparison between kids has to be avoided.  Each child is unique.  Parents, therefore, have to understand each child’s behavior and accept each child for what he or she is.  If ever there is a conflict between the kids, parents have to listen to each child’s explanation and let them understand that they should not quarrel with each other.  Tell them to love each other instead of hating and fighting one another.  Parents should try to talk to their kids’ everyday and discuss whatever is to be discussed.  It is sort of a family bonding.  In this way, children can learn how to open up themselves and try to voice out whatever hurt feelings they have inside.  If ever there is something to be resolved, each member in the family can participate and contribute.  Parents should also be very careful in delegating tasks to every child.  They have to evenly distribute each task and let the kids understand why a certain task is given to him or her.  Parents have to properly explain to the children why they cannot have the same duties and responsibilities.  If these simple steps will just be observed and followed, sibling rivalry in the family will be minimized and can even be avoided.  These steps may sound hard to follow, in reality, but, there is no harm in trying.  So, why not start right now and build a peaceful and happy family, especially among the children.